Pickleball Didn’t Make Artie Fall… He Was Already Falling

Bethanne Weiss
May 18
3 min read

I can’t tell you how many peops (usually avid asset sitters, not avid asset movers) LOVE to spread the news:

“Did you hear about Arthur Itis falling playing pickleball?!"

Lemme break it to you gently, sista (or brotha)…Artie didn’t fall because of pickleball. Artie was already falling LONG before he stepped on that court.

Most peops who fall playing pickleball:

Don't move backwards or sideways and the PB court is NOT the place to learn how to
Can’t squat (aka bend down) efficiently
Have poor reaction time
Have lousy hand-eye coordination
avoid (climbing) steps like the plague
Slam onto chairs, cars, and couches belting out OYful moans & groans
Need to grab banisters like life rafts
Can’t get out of a seat without looking like they need a mechanical hoist

And yet somehow… poor pickleball gets blamed?

Newsflash:

if you only move forward, avoid stairs, hunch over (aka your eyes and "girls" look down not forward, collapse into seats, and need to grasp stuff (including your own self whilst belting out OYful sound effects) just to stand up… you are already partially falling.

Pickleball simply exposed it.

The problem isn’t the activity. It’s the landing. It's the hunched over posture, It’s the mobility. It’s the fact that most adults stop training lateral movement, climbing, rotation, coordination, reaction time, and controlling their OWN body when moving it... years before they ever pick up a paddle.

And please stop thinking standing on one leg while brushing your teeth is the gold standard for balance training. Read more HERE.

If you want to play pickleball safely:

Learn to move sideways and backwards
Improve mobility, coordination and reaction time
Control your “down”
Skip the elevator, use the stairs
Get up off the floor without grabbing furniture
Bend DOWN, not OVER (that ball doesn’t bounce much, peops)

I play pickleball too… even with my chicken feet and balance issues.

Butt, (pun very intended) I TRAIN for it.

That’s exactly why I created CLUB FUNIQ® Total Brain Balance & Booty classes — to help YOU move better, react better, fall less, and keep doing the things YOU LOVE to do!

And yes… I can help get you fit for pickleball before pickleball humbles you publicly.

I also teach a FREE Better Brains, Balance & Booties class Thursdays at 11:30 AM at the Sanford Senior Center, so you officially have no excuse, ooh I mean "reason" to NOT move your (fine young) assets with me.

Stop blaming pickleball for Artie Itis. Get it??? Another pun very much intended.

The real condition is NoAssitol Disease™.

"As Bethanne Wellness — the Queen of More JOY and Less OY — I enJOY teaching Tiny Tweaks™ to your eats, your moves, your brain, and your life so you can move, feel, and look (even more) amazing while aging safely, healthfully, and JOYfully in your own home — or wherever you choose to plant your fabulous self.

I’m certified in fall prevention, balance, posture, ergonomics, and senior home safety, and I’ve helped prevent thousands of people (including myself) from starring in the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” commercial or scooting through life at two miles per hour. I don’t just teach this work — I live it. Having navigated dizziness and balance challenges for most of my life, I understand firsthand how powerful the right Tiny Tweaks™ can be."

Bethanne Weiss, B.S., is an American Posture Institute posture ergonomist and balance expert, Age Safe® America Certified Senior Home Safety Specialist®, motivational speaker, author, host of the More JOY Less OY podcast, FUNIQ® Fitness Founder, ACE-certified fitness and nutrition professional, ACE-approved CEU provider, and ACE-certified behavior change specialist with 40ish years of moving assets, changing brains, bodies, and booties — and preventing falls.

Her Tiny Tweaks™ will have YOU moving, feeling, and looking amazing in less than 30 minutes.